Pinched Church ¶

The Pinched Church (Romanian: Biserica Ciupită) is the official church of the Brotherhood of the United Blocks and Nucilandia, based on the teachings of Vasile Ciupitu and the values of Ciupitism. It promotes the idea that through socialising, humour, and pinching, people can achieve a spiritual connection and bring joy and happiness to their community.

Within the Church, Ciupitism is considered a polytheistic religion, but Vasile Ciupitu is venerated as the most important and powerful god. Alongside Ciupitu, the church also recognises other deities and saints, such as the Bucket Saints (Radu and Bianca), who are the patrons of Way of the Bucket, a Ciupitist philosophy that promotes simplicity and charity through the use of buckets.

The Church organises specific rituals and ceremonies, which include reciprocal pinching, the use of buckets in various contexts, and the honouring of other pinched symbols and saints. Religious liturgies are conducted in the Romanian language, bringing a sense of tradition and authenticity.

The Pinched Church has a significant influence in its communities, promoting the values of Ciupitism and bringing joy to the lives of its faithful followers. Although there are critics and scepticism surrounding this church and its teachings, believers maintain that it brings fulfilment and happiness to their lives and their community.

Rituals and Ceremonies ¶

According to the rules of Ciupitism, the Pinched Church organises a pinching ceremony (religious service) every Friday, where community members gather to celebrate their faith in Ciupitism and engage in playful trolling.

Festival of Pinches ¶

From 10 March to 21 March (according to the "ciupean calendar"), the Festival of Pinches is organised, which includes pinching ceremonies, gladiator games, and other social and communal activities among the faithful.

Ciupean Calendar (known as The Second Pinching)

Baptism ¶

The initiation ritual within the Church is performed using a bucket (from the Bucket Saints) and a symbolic pinch applied to the shoulder or hand of the baptised person, as a gesture of renewal and embrace of the Ciupitism faith.

Consecrations ¶

During the consecration of a place of worship, a residence, or an institution, the following formula can be used:

"We consecrate this house (replace with appropriate term) in the name of Our High Vasile Ciupitu, with the bucket from the Bucket Saints. May this consecration bring you luck, may your server no longer experience lag, errors, or others. May Ciupitu help you!"

Places of Worship ¶

Cathedral of the Nation's Pinching ¶

The Cathedral of the Nation's Pinching (Romanian: Catedrala Ciupirii Neamului) is the first cathedral constructed in honour of Vasile Ciupitu in Nucilandia, situated in Solara. Initial plans for building the cathedral date as far back as 28 January 2024.

Designed with a conical roof ascending uniformly toward a single apex near the heavens, the edifice was positioned to provide the optimal contour for Vasile to pinch it. During construction, Vasile performed the sacred act of pinching, lifting the top of the dome into the sky. The architects subsequently revised the blueprints to add the 8 Pillars of Pinching (Romanian: cei 8 Stâlpi ai Ciupirii), suspending the dome's peak in mid-air in accordance with His divine will.

The cathedral triggered widespread controversy, evoking comparisons to the People's Salvation Cathedral (Romanian: Catedrala Mântuirii Neamului) in Romania. Local residents condemned it as "a meaningless extravagance" (Romanian: o extravaganță fără sens), particularly after funds allocated for the Voivodal Hospital (Romanian: Spitalul Voievodal) were halted and redirected toward the cathedral. The local clergy and citizens of Solara were further shocked by its immense proportions, which dwarf the ancient Temple of the Sun (Romanian: Templul Soarelui) by orders of magnitude, causing heightened social and religious unrest and prompts for rededication or urban renaming.

Organisation ¶

The Pinched Church is an autonomous institution and has its own system of governance and hierarchy. However, depending on the micronation, there are certain interactions and relationships between the Sovereign (Head of State) and the Church, in accordance with the legislation of each micronation.

Church Hierarchy ¶

The Primate is the supreme leader of the Church and has the role of ensuring unity and cohesion within the Pinched Church. They are the highest-ranking clergy who can promote the values, teachings, and practices of Ciupitism. The Primate provides spiritual guidance, interprets the teachings and principles of Ciupitism, and offers understanding and clarity on how believers should live according to the values of Ciupitism.

As Primate of the Church, we often refer simply as Bazileu Ciupit, but the full title is:

• Romanian: Bazileu Ciupit, Prim Ciupitul lui Vasile, Arhiepiscopul Ciupitorilor și Ciupiturilor, Stâlpul de Lumină al Bisericii Ciupite, Păstorul Suprem al Credincioșilor Ciupiți, Marele Ciupitor al Păcatelor, Stăpânul Ciupiturilor Sacre, Maestrul Ciupiturilor Divine
• English: Ciupit Basileus, First Ciupit of Vasile, Archbishop of Pinchers and Trollers, Pillar of Light of the Ciupit Church, Supreme Shepherd of the Ciupit Faithful, Great Pincer of Sins, Master of Sacred Pinches, Master of Divine Pinches.

The bishops are responsible for leading and coordinating religious activities in their dioceses. They act under the authority of the Primate and may have specific duties and responsibilities in managing the churches and religious communities in their respective localities, as well as organizing and conducting religious rituals and ceremonies.

In the absence of a bishop, they are assisted by a "vicar" who serves as the de facto leader of the diocese and assumes the duties and responsibilities of the bishop.

List of Primates ¶

In 2012, after Mib Boby and Hori founded Ciupitism, they organised the Great Pinching (an ecumenical synod) where they established the organisational structure of the newly formed religion and the Ciupit Church. It was decided that the leader would hold the title of Ciupit Basileus, and to strengthen the historical connection with The Matza Party, it was determined that this position would be occupied by a cat.

Throughout its history, the Ciupit Church has had only two Bazileus: Miky (male) and Piky (female), who were siblings and the cats of Queen Constanța. Miky led the church for 6 years, during which the foundations of the institution were laid. His last public appearance was in September 2019, after which Miky mysteriously disappeared, leading to the enthronement of Piky as the new Ciupit Basileus.

No.	Portrait	Bazileu Ciupit	Reign
1		Miky	January 2013 – October 2019
2		Piky	October 2019 – present

Church Council ¶

The Church Council is the decision-making body that governs and administers the Pinched Church. It provides spiritual guidance and direction to the church, having the authority to make important decisions regarding the doctrines, practices, and policies of the church.

The Church Council consists of several members, with the hierarchs being the most important among them. The exact number of this body varies depending on circumstances and the number of active hierarchs.

In addition to the administration of the church, the Council is responsible for the selection of hierarchs through consultations and deliberations. The individuals chosen must possess deep faith, wisdom, and moral integrity to occupy these leadership positions.

The Council convenes when called by its president, the Primate, to discuss and make important decisions. Decisions are made collegially, through consensus or voting, and are considered binding for all members of the Church.

Categories: Religious Organizations, Institutions, Ciupitism, Religion, Brotherhood of the United Blocks, Nucilandia